Pains of All Sorts
by RiddletheSphinx
Summary: Two Drunk Yamis, Two naked Hikaris, One annoyed Bakura. It's was his own fault after all, for not getting drunk with the other two. Yamishipping. Heartshipping.


"And where do you think your going?"

Ryou half turned, having one leg out the window already to see his little sister standing in the doorway, watching him with a smirk.

"Out", he said, hoping she didn't notice the small bag slung around his shoulders.

"Uh huh, out the window, at five in the morning. With a bag", Amane said, pointing at the duffle bag. "Yeah right. Who is he and why don't you want Bakura and Akefia to know about him?"

"…It's no one! I'm climbing out the window now!"

"That's an great argument. HEY AK-", in flash the girl was pinned up against the wall, her mouth covered with her brother's hand.

"Amane, if you wish to keep your vocal cords you, you will shut up and allow me to go out the window with out altering Akefia or Bakura, agreed?" the glare he gave her could have rivalled the white haired yami he didn't want altered.

She mumbled something through his hand that could have been, Yes Ryou. He nodded satisfied with this answer, he released her and made his way back to the window. After having at least part of the Thief King living in his mind for years, he had picked up something about escapes and breaking and entering.

Ryou slipped out the window easily, handing on to the sill for a moment. He bent his knees and fell, the shock wave form the hitting the ground shaking him a bit. He shook out his legs and started walking.

He knew how long it would take to get where he was going, five minutes, one if he ran, but the time saved wasn't worth showing up sweating and out of breath.

The back door was open as always, sometime he considered asking for a key, only because he hated the idea of someone breaking into the house just because the door was left open for him. That seemed to personal though, to soon.

"Yami! It's fine!" the yell came form the kitchen, "Go have fun with your date!"

"It's not a date!"

"It's totally a date!"

Ryou walk through the back hallway, standing in the door way to the kitchen he watched the pair argue. They had more of a brotherly relationship then he and his Yami did. Their's was barely a roommates, Akefia considered him and Amane his siblings more then Bakura did, but the Thief King still had most of his humanity.

"GO! GET LAID SO YOU AREN'T SUCH A WHINEY LITTLE BITCH", Yugi yelled, kicking his Yami out of the kitchen with a look of surprise on his face. It was then the smaller hikari noticed the Brit standing in his kitchen, "Ryou"

The white haired hikari crossed the space, scooping up the other, he pressed his lips against his lover with such need, Yugi barely knew how to respond. "I had to jump out a window to get here, I hope you appreciate at that"

"You jumped out a window? For me? Do you relize how hot that is?" Yugi started lightly pressing kisses against Ryou's neck.

"Mmm," he moaned, "Why don't you show me?"

Somewhere around the third round they collapsed on the couch, a comforter placed there for that purpose covering them. Yugi using Ryou's chest as pillow feeling slightly sticky, but the skin to skin contact that they hadn't felt in so long was enough to distract them form that fact.

"Shut up you drunken fools!" Bakura whisper yelled at his fellow Yamis who were drunk as skunks, and giggling about something he didn't understand.

"Sor-sorry Fluffy", Marik giggled, hanging off Yami's shoulder, "Shhh, Fluffly's mad"

"He's He's bad because your calling him Fl-luffy"

"What the hell did you drink!" Bakura exclaimed finally getting the door open, the three stumbled into the dark hallway of the game shop, "Now shut up! The midget's probably asleep"

"He's not a midget!" Yami insisted, "He's just short, like like those thing in the movie with the flying

monkeys and dead witches?"

"Muchkins, they were midgets. Yami" the white haired Yami said rubbing his eyes with fustartion. Why had he ever agreed to be the driver that night he'd never know. Something about finding his two lovers entertaining when they were drunk.

"Oooooh. We need the stairs", the former Pharoah told Bakura wisely.

"Yes, and they are in the living room. We need to get to them without waking your Hikari. Do you two arseholes understand?" He said before almost slipping on a blue and white stripped shirt laying on the floor.

Marik picked it up, "Heeeyyy, Kura, why is Ryouy's shirt on Yami's floor?"

"How the Bloody HELL SHOULD I KNOW?"

"What was that?" Yugi yelled, shooting up form his position on Ryou, and acidently kneeing the other boy in the balls at the same time.

"OH SWEET ISIS THAT HURTS!"

"OH RA RYOU"

"What the hell?" Bakura mumbled, walking into the living room, leaving the other two Yamis to discover the other items of clothing tossed about the room.

After finding Yugi's pants, Yami exclaimed, "Marik do you know what this means!"

"Ummm, no"

"Ryou and Yugi were kidnapped by aliens!"

Bakura shook his head hearing the insane theories being spoken in the other room and turned his attention back to the scene in the living room. Yugi was sitting on Ryou's legs, having what appeared to be a panic attack while Ryou was clutching his nether regions.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

Two pairs of eyes, one purple, one brown turned to look at him. "Bakura?"

"Yami? And dear lord Yugi please get off me, I can't feel my balls!"

The white haired man just stared at the odd scene, as Yugi scrambled off his lover, standing totally naked in front of Bakura and his hikari.

"Look, Marik and Yami are drunk in your kitchen. You and Ryou are naked, and apparently his balls are damaged. Why don't we talk about this in the morning?"

After an interesting indicant of getting Yugi and Ryou pants, and putting Yami and Marik to bed, everyone finally got to something resembling sleep.

Ryou watched Yugi flipping pancakes, an ice pack firmly on his crotch. The little hikari had insisted on making food for the three of them that would be able to eat that morning. Mainly to make up for the fact that he had kneed Ryou in the balls.

Bakura stumbled done the stairs, Yami and Marik still on the bed tangled up together, mumbling about aliens and peanuts. "It's nice to see you two wearing clothes. What time is it?"

"One thirty, in the afternoon. Starfish head is making pancakes"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Tell that to my crotch!"

"I will if Bakura will leave!"

"Can you two stop yelling…wait, Ryou, if I'm here and you're here…", the tomb robber started.

"Oh god Amane's alone with Akefia!" The albino, even with his light skin paled noticeably at the idea of his baby sister alone with the former Thief King.

"Calm down, both of you. And eat some pancakes", the Spiky haired hikari set the plate of steaming food in front of the two white haired men, "And if you don't eat there will be violence in this house"

"Yes Sir! I don't want you to knee me in the balls again", Ryou said smirking a little, before pulling some on too his plate. "Now, explain why you came home with Yami and Marik?"

"And why they were drunk out of their minds", Yugi added, putting pancakes on Bakura's plate.

"Would you believe…", the man tried to think of something that plausible, while ripping into a pancake. "Fine, I'm dating, sleeping with, fuck I don't know, something with Yami and Marik. Have been sense we all got back. We went out last night and I volunteered not to drink because, those two drunk fucking funny"

"That kind of explains why Yami limps so much", Yugi said, disturbing Ryou with the fact he seemed to be very accepting of this.

"Yugi! This is a little weird!"

"Ryou, last night you screwed my brains out on my kitchen floor! And not for the first time! It's not that weird. Also I saw your sister making out with Serenity the other day, nothing can surprise me any more!" the blond banged hikari almost yelled, waving his hands around.

"You saw what?"

Bakura rolled his eyes as the two hikaris argued about what should and should not be told about someone's sister, and who she may or may not be making out with.

The stumbling sounds of feet down the stairs was followed by two very hung over Yamis almost falling into the kitchen. "Never again!" Marik said, as Yami practically fell into the sink, throw up what was left in his stomach.

"Oh Ra", the spiky haired Yami moaned, Bakura poured a glass of water. Once the other Yami turned around, he tossed it in his lover's face. "You are a bastard, but thank you"

"Welcome, how long have you two been going at it?"

Yugi chewed on his thumbnail, trying to remember, "Four years?"

"Four and half, it'll be five in December", Ryou corrected, "Marik what's with your face?"

"Hmm?" The Egyptian Yami reached up to his face, tracing the lightly scabbed over scratches on his cheeks, "What the hell did I do?"

"You got in a fight with an alley cat, you decided it was challenging your man hood"

"Oh god Marik. Yugi?" Yami asked looking at his lover's face.

The hikari sighed and went for the first aid kit, throwing it to Yami. The Egyptian hopped up on the counter as the former Pharaoh started cleaning the scratches.

"Never again", the Tombkeeper said. Yami nodded his agreement.


End file.
